Could almost hear victory trumpets when the playfield dissolved to be replaced by a text screen. After positioning a mirror so I could read by its reflection, I found it said: "Congratulations! you have passed the first test. You are now ready to confront THE ULTIMATE GLITCH"Heart in mouth, I hit the "return" key. More text filled the display.
I was on my way...Frankly, the fine details have grown vague, wiped clean by a mixture of total exhaustion and the Game Doctor's smart-bomb therapy (still legal in New York State). I remember buying a dog whistle and then calling the serial number on my game disk, and I think I took the bus to Corvallis, Oregon, but I can't be sure. You know, I can still taste that disk. Hopefully, publishers will someday cater to glitch busters by encasing their disks in better-tasting cardboard jackets.It must've gone on like that for weeks, even months.
Time lost all meaning as I crisscrossed the country, digging up caches of documentation and making enigmatic--even to me--calls to out-of-the-way electronic message boards. If EG hadn't printed plans for a left-handed joystick, I might never have completed my quest.But I did. And when the screen lit up, well, it was almost worth it. Folks say every life has three important moments: When you're born, when you get married, and when you die. Seeing this glitch makes it four.I'd love to be able to tell you about it, but my memories are already disjointed. I can recall at least the gist of the message from space, and the striptease show has also stuck in my mind, but other specifics are gone forever. All I know for sure is that a bunch of EG staffers found me slumped over the computer. They brought me here. From now on, send your glitches to the FIFA 16 Hack For Android Forman [features editor]. She's still young and healthy enough to stand the strain.
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